I hear you, yes, the sense of "what's wrong with me" is a big one. I see that as a conflict based mindset, and I suppose that's what I was pointing to in the sense of violence. Maybe I could rework that viewpoint to state it as a conflictive relationship with self.

The upper limits you speak of are crucial, like adding a subscribe button for your articles. I've been learning to leaning into these spaces regularly, to find out what is in there stopping me from taking those steps.