Thank you for your astute observations, it is sincerely good to hear these experiences out of a taboo place that is so often filled with hush tones. I went into many strip clubs as a young man, firstly out of a kind of hedonistic, thrill seeking awe, then out of a kind of shadowy disgust, then out of a protective role for my younger male friends (that didn't work too well), then I stood up and said I was done with them as it was against my morals. I had to take that journey myself, we lack elders to give us structure and allow us to know what it means to be a man of integrity. There is no cultural markers for us, as men, to grow and mature. Women are encouraged to feel and be intimate in their social groups. Men are encouraged to shut up, and they get shamed for that first instance, and they get shamed by this type of communication and eye rolling. Here's a hard truth, THAT DOESN'T HELP. Shame only makes shame worse.

It is childish, it is a childish society, we condition men out of their hearts, we call them weak and incompetent if they're anything other than hyper competitive or angry, we don't educate them in ways of relating or how to be a responsible man, and then we expect them to know how to be fathers, we expect them to know how to talk to their wives about complex issues, then we shame and criticise them for the outcome. I think the reason that men go to strip bars is so that they can be men, because it certainly doesn't happen in other parts of society. This is a shadow wound, and it could change, if people stood up for the fact that it's happening, or you could just go on playing the victim and complaining about men. Thereby making men the perpetrators, and who shall play the rescuer? The whole drama triangle turns.

The patriachy is the issue, not men. THE PATRIACHY.